“You know my name, not my story.”

July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 October 2012 September 2013

We're back together after so much. Yes, we're back together. Alot things have cock up, my insecurities, my paranoids. And yea, he never fails to smoother me.

Randomly look back to the onsugar blog I used to have. Whoops. See already bak sai lao loh lai. All this days, I've been so much, betrayals, empty promises. I was too naive to actually believe her words. Yeapp.

A part of me have my guards up. Cause I don't wana get hurt as much as I used to. As least if I got hurt, I wana minimize it. Although deep down I hope tht history won't repeat, but yea... I know you still want her back, I know. And you're still with me. Is it because you're lonely or something?

I'm unhappy, really. Not unhappy, just upset. Why would things turn out this way? Shall stop thinking about all this stuffs. It won't do any good. Really. I want to have tht ability to ignore you back again. Cause I really need it. I needa keep my promises this time. I cant afford to lose anyone anymore.

Idk what to do. I don't wana give up tht easily.. But I can only give up. I cant do anything else. When you hug me and whisper to me, 'dont be sad, I love you.. Don't cry silly', the more I wana cry. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I should reply.

You're not mine.. Remember last night? When you wana hold my hand, I say, "once you hold, you can never let go". And I remember you say, "must let go! Hold till go home, thn let go, sleep thn wake up hold again." I swear you're so sweet.

With you, there's nothing I wouldn't try. Those food tht I don't eat, with you, I eat 'em. Those stuffs tht I've never do before, with you, I did 'em. Those words tht I've never say before, with you, I've said it all. You're my pillar of strength. My pillar of life.. My everything.

Teach me how to carry on. I'm feeling this guilt. Boy, teach me..

Truth is, no one is able to make me forget you. Okay, I swear my life is a joke. Purely a joke. I once thought warren's able to make me forget owyeong. But impossible. The whole night I'm drinking last night, my whole head is you. Seriously.. C'mon man, what am I suppose to do?

I need time on my own, i'm shutting myself out of this world. Sorry to everyone, but i just need my own time in my own world. I'll be back, but not soon.

So late, suddenly jump up from dreams. I think I dreamt of something bad. ): gonna take the fu to put under my pillow already. Ogey! Moving on!

Heh. This few days, lucky I have them to be with me. Arbo I sure bored die and stuffs one. heh. Chu Yi went to edmund's house with Rachel~ Met her at tamp mrt first. Thn bus down together~ Hmm. Thn we were like gossiping. Hehehehe. Sorry, sometimes, it's just too juicy to not gossip. HAHAHAHA!

Yeapp. So, everybody will meet someone tht will accept who they are. I had my H2O babies, my darling, Xiuhui, and lastly, Rachel. (: Heh. It's hard to meet someone tht can be so....open heart. Heh. I don't really know how to describe. Oh! Anyway, I saw xiaxue. So I don't have like her or don't like. So ya. She walks like some young ahlian. Ogey! Back to topic!

Hmmm. Rarely there will be someone tht you can tell everything to. And yet, won't beat around the bushes. I'm lucky I know them. And I'm really lucky I know Rachel. It's like, I know her through my ex? They say when you lose something, you gain something else. Heh. Yes I did. (:

Ogey. Bloody poop. Imma go cook new now. BYEBYE!

Hey. How are you doing? You seem to be pretty good. You don't come to my blog anymore. Haha. People do really change heart huh?

Have been contacting Rachel. Just, idk why, hais. Everytime I see Rachel post those stuffs regarding to you, my heart just clenched and died.. And tht day at Edmund house. I swear I was about to break down right infront of everybody.. I really can't do this anymore..

I miss those times we spend together. ): Remember when you sang 那个男人 to me? It's stuck in my mind. Too much memories.. Too much feelings. Too much words left unsaid.. Idk really.. I tried to go Mia already. But I really can't. :/ Every single day tht passed without you, my heart died a lil. Can I call you mine again?

I force myself to face you and Rachel together. Cause Thts the only way I can kill those feelings, but it just gets stronger and stronger.. And I never ever wana do anything to spoil the both of you.. Yeaa. Love is selfish.. Everybody wants the good things, who would want the bad ones?

Boy, promise me. Tht you'll never ever forget anything about you and me. Promise you'll never forget me. Promise you'll remember us.. )': I miss your hugs.. Your kisses.. The way you get so protective over me.. Hais. I miss every single stuffs about you and me.. )':

This is the first photo we took together, remember? I still remember xh say we have the couple look. Hahaha. Well, hey boy. The days spend with you, I swear I'm happy. Even though I know you're not mine to keep. I can only treasure what's left.

I took the box and leave your house today.. I took all my belongings, and left.. Cause I know, no matter what, I'll never be the same in your heart.. It's been a long time since you last pat me to sleep. What pains me the most is, I know you're not mine to hold on to anymore. And when I heard you call me, 'bi!', my heart clenched. I'm both happy and sad.. Happy tht I finally heard tht from you, sad is, I know it's gonna be the last time I hear it.. When I heard you call me 'baobao' this morning.. I swear I have never been so happy before.

Life is indeed a joke. My life is a joke. I've never regret knowing you. Cause if I didn't know you, idk where I'll end up. If I never fall for you, I would've never know, love is worth risking anything. If you didn't woo me, I wouldn't have know, love can be sweet and bitter. But, the only thing tht matter is, being together. I didn't think tht I'll be here, with a hole in my heart. Cause I never have needed anyone so badly.. I was never a girl tht need a guy. Until I met you, my world changes.

Both good and bad changes.. Bad is, I've been ditching friends for your sake. And in my world, there's only you. And good point is, I felt love, I felt it. I know what it feels to love someone. I know what it feels to be love. I've been through so much with you tht I didn't with the other guys. I've never give in to anyone, I'm a totally diff girl.

Fat chubby cheeks. I love your dimples. I love your smiles. I love your eyes, so mesmerizing. I love your kisses. I love you hugs, so warm and safe. I love your touch, burning on my skin. I love your care. I love your concern. I love your naggy-ness. I love the way you make me do something for my good. I love the way you eat, like a 3yo kid. I love the way you smell. I love your protective-ness. I love how you're protective over me. I love how you cover my head when we walk under the rain. I love how you always treat me like a lil girl. I love your fishball. I love how you always wanted to pinch my fishball. I love your body. I love your craziness. I love how you have in to me. I love how you never wana lose me. I love how you're afraid tht I will get taken away. I love how you get all manly and firm with me. I love your 'iloveyou'. I love your 'imissyou'. I love your greetings. I love your nicknames. I love the nicknames you gave me. I love it when you hold me. I love it when you carry me in your arms, I feel so safe and wanted. I love it when you love me. I love how we always take silly pictures. I love how you'll bring me along to your outings. I love how you'll pat me to sleep. I love how you'll make me sleep on your shoulders cause i like it. I love how you let me lean on your back and sleep. I love how you'll hold me when you sleep. I love your hugs-from-the-back. I love our goodnight kisses. I love your shut-me-up-kisses. I love the way you hold me when I cry. I love how you won't let anyone touch me. I love how you'll always make me eat my medicine. I love how you'll say you go take something thn end up with medicine and warm water, and when I ask, you say tht me eating medicine is important. I love how paranoid you get when things get back. I love our quarrels.. I love your everything boy.. Everything.. And lastly, I love you..